The “After”
In the months since my graduation and leading up to December (2023) I had gone through a cycle of highs and lows in motivation. I often wondered if I had made the right choice, if maybe I had been a fool to jump into a Software Engineering bootcamp. I had received varying feedback on my experience (or lack thereof), and the job industry (there was a hiring freeze). I had applied to 100s of jobs and had received nothing but rejection emails. The circumstances made it easy to focus on what I was lacking—I was not sending enough applications, and my resume was not good enough. I compared myself to my peers and decided I was clearly not dedicating enough time to building up my skills.
In December, one particular job application required me to write about the accomplishments I was most proud of. As I reflected on the things I had accomplished in the past couple of months I realized I had been focusing on the wrong things. While rejection had followed me daily, I had in fact accomplished a lot! Amidst sending out applications I planned and designed wireframes for a couple of web application ideas and made plans to build them, even built the back-end for one. While editing my resume and networking, I put in hours as Designer and Social Media Manager for my brother’s Medical Spa, achieving monthly goals, increasing revenue, and growing his business. I even accidentally made a viral video of my gift wrapping 😅. I continued doing occasional design jobs while being a sister, an aunt, and building a relationship. Reflecting on my accomplishments rather than what I had yet to accomplish made it easier to continue on the job search and remember my value until someone gave me the opportunity to apply my skills in the industry.
Soon after submitting that application I was offered my first position as a Software Engineer. At the beginning of February I moved in to a new apartment, and started my new job!
I have now been working as a full-stack software engineer for several months and it has truly been the most positive experience I could have imagined.
I came across an entry from last May that has made me appreciate this current chapter even more.
Thursday, May 18th 2023
“I’m in my 8th week of doing HackReactor and my goodness it has been a ride…
I’ve been scared throughout my whole journey. Scared of not being dedicated enough. I’ve been scared of failing and feeling inadequate. I’ve been scared of jinxing myself. I’ve been scared of “not being ‘software engineer’ enough”.
I’m in Module 2 and some days I feel optimistic, and other times I have no idea if I will be on the other side or what that side even looks like.
That part. The “other side” also scares me because I wonder if I will be capable of adding value to a company or if people in that company will think I do have potential.“
I’ve made it to that “other side” that just at the beginning of the year seemed so daunting and unreachable. From this side, I’ve learned an important lesson—things need to break in order for us to learn. It’s a common theme, “without darkness there is no light” etc, and as much as I hate to sound like an inspirational cat poster, it’s true. One of the biggest fears I had starting out was the fear of breaking things. I soon accepted that in order for me to get familiar with the code and accomplish the tasks I was given I had to start by breaking things. It has worked!
Throughout the last couple of months there have been days of rejoicing at overcoming errors and checking off tasks. And there’s been days in which I go to bed thinking about why I could not solve a specific error. Moments like these I remind myself (as does my coworker) that it’s alright to ask for help. I know this, although part of the charm about this field is the joy of solving a problem, so it’s a balance I’m working on.
It feels very early still and I know there’s much for me to learn yet. In the short amount of time, however, I’ve had the privilege of learning to work with Firebase, FireCMS, Sass, and gained further practice in CSS. I’ve become familiar with the Google Maps API and its many libraries. I’ve learned to work with documentation (that at times can be very vague) and apply it to the codebase I am working with. Additionally, I’ve gained valuable experience in working with a team. I’ve felt valued, found a work-life balance, I’ve had the opportunity to share my design skills, and I’ve gained a better understanding of the operations within a growing non-profit.
I hope to continue developing my Javascript and React skills (among others) throughout the next couple of months. Moreover, I hope that with further practice I can increase my confidence when it comes to presenting my ideas as well as walking through the code I write.
While adjusting to this new life as a Full-Stack Engineer has allowed me to pause on a lot of personal projects, I am now feeling ready and (less daunted by the idea of it) to continue working on those in my free-time. Most importantly, I have 0 regrets about the crazy idea I had in January of 2023 to change my career path, and am grateful for the people that supported the crazy idea, helped me get through the crazy idea, and helped me find my way to this current joyful chapter.